Jealousy

So I wanted to share something with you all today that has been weighing heavily on my heart the last couple of days, something that I have been struggling with and will probably continue to struggle with despite knowing that it is baseless. I want to preface this by starting with the positive part of my current struggle, the part I can’t control and the part that brings me as much joy as it does stress. Those of you who have been with me for a little bit now know that the person behind my awesome logo for Twisted Mind Creative is my very talented brother. I feel very blessed to be able to have something he created grace my facebook page and website. I have recently discovered from our parents, (shh, don’t tell him this, I haven't talked to him about it yet) that he has recently found success in this side venture of his. Although I am not at liberty to tell you what this entails, I can tell you that I am super excited for him, and therein lies what this post is about.

Just to reiterate, I am super excited to see my brother succeed, but it doesn’t come without a dose of jealousy. I’ll be the first to tell you that my writing doesn’t see the kind of traffic that I wish it would. Although my writing is not top notch, I still do take a lot of pride in the work I put into it and I would love to see more people take notice of it, I’m only human after all. I would be lying if I said it didn’t cross my mind quite a bit that I’m putting all this effort and free time into something that is largely going unnoticed. Sometimes it’s hard, but such is life.

Ok, enough pity party. With that being said, I also realize that I don't do this just for you all, I do this for me. I have an active imagination, I have feelings and opinions, and all of these thoughts cloud up my mind to the point that they are all I think about some days. Being able to write these things down allows me to, as a friend and co-worker likes to say, dump my SD card. I write this stuff down and I can clear space for something a little more important inside this twisted mind, and I guess if I’m going to write all this stuff out, why not share it with you all. I’ll be the first to admit I’m not the smartest or most philosophical person, but maybe what I have to say resonates with someone else too.

Back to the topic at hand, I would like to view jealousy as the fancier version of comparison since that is what we are basically doing. The problem I see is that just like my case, most people are not comparing apples to apples. My brother and I are working in two completely different forms of media, yet I compare his work and success to my own. What we should do instead to combat jealousy and comparison, is judge ourselves against ourselves. Where are you compared to last year? Also, if you are doing something just to be better than someone else, then you are in it for the wrong reasons. I write because it is therapeutic and I actually enjoy it. I’m an over thinker and can come up with some crazy things that sometimes make it into my stories. I’m not the best story teller, but I’m working on it.

That brings up another good point. Just like I tell my children, the only way you get better at something is to simply learn from your mistakes and keep doing it. I also tell them to do as I say and not as I do, but we won’t get into that here. Point is, we can’t help but feel jealous of other people, it’s going to happen, but if we realize our comparisons are not equal, and focus on what made us do what we are doing in the first place, we can hopefully overcome those feelings. Keep doing what you love and get better at it. I’m going to take a piece of the advice I give my children and just keep writing until I become better than what I was and I hope you all stick around for the journey.

Once again, if you are reading this Josh, I am super excited to see the rewards that your hard work and skill have in store for you and I wish you the best of luck. For the rest of you reading this, if you feel that whatever it is you do isn’t good enough, I guarantee that nobody else can do it the same way you can, and if you are anything like me and millions of other people in this world, you prefer to be unique anyways. Keep being you.