Busyness

When someone asks you how you’ve been, what is a common answer that every single one of us is guilty of using at least once in our lives? If your answer had any form of busy in it, then congratulations, you’re the winner. Sorry, no prizes to be won here for being right. All of us at one point or another have used this as an answer, incorrect or not, it’s a pretty common reply. After all, if we are not busy doing something, then we must just be lazy, right? At least that is what our society has brought us up believing. Don’t get me wrong, there is great value in being productive all throughout our day, but is it the same as being busy all throughout our day? After all, one can be busy all day at work and have none of it be productive.

This was the topic of our sermon in church this morning and I have to admit it hit me like cinder block to the chest. I also have to admit that I am borrowing a lot of this writing from the sermon this morning so please forgive me for not all of this being from my own twisted mind, but it shed light on other areas of my life and I just couldn’t help myself but to pass on the message. With that in mind, let me share with you all some of the things that went through this twisted mind of mine this morning.

Exhibit A: I like to think of myself as a good father to my children. I know I'm far from perfect and there are parts of my past I look back on and wish I had handled them differently, but I truly love my children and I do what I can for them. That being said, there are times where I let distractions get in the way of my life with my children. I’m a single father in the process of getting divorced and I get my children every other week. I thought I had the best solution figured out where I get all the things I need to get done on the weeks I don’t have my children so that when I do have them, I can enjoy it with them. This morning made me realize that that is not healthy for me or the kids. For example, this past week I was by myself, and I pushed myself to get so many things done that by Friday after work I was physically and emotionally exhausted. That is not healthy. On top of that, here lately when I do have my kids in the afternoons between getting home and fixing supper, and even after supper and before bedtime, they can usually find me in my chair on my phone. Don’t get me wrong, when my son walks into the living room and says he wants a hug, you better believe I set that phone down and give that boy a hug, but how else could I be spending that time?

Exhibit B: Everybody has something they are either good at or strive to be better at because it is something they love. For me it is writing. Granted, it is definitely a love/hate relationship but it is something I strive to be better at, and yet, I find myself engrossed with anything other than writing. I have learned over the years that the more I read, the more my creative mind works, which causes me to want to write more. I love to read thanks to my best friend, but sometimes it’s hard for me to find time to read because, you guessed it, I’m too busy. I’ve recently gotten back into the routine of reading a chapter or two on my lunch hour, which is a great way for me to calm my mind and enjoy the free time in silence that I can’t always enjoy with raising kids, but I still have yet to carve out the same amount of time to write, although I have no trouble finding one to two hours to mindlessly stare at my phone. This is neither the time or place for me to go off about certain apps and their time wasting ability since I am just as much a victim as anyone else. As with many things in our lives, I believe that many forms of entertainment can be beneficial to our mental health so long as we prioritize our time correctly.

Exhibit C: I normally do very well on my own, but when the pressure is on I tend to not look at all of my options. This last week is also a prime example of that. Not only did I try to do way too much in my free time, I also chose to do it on a week when I was short handed at work and busier than normal. I’m used to doing things my way and my way usually means doing them myself, and as I was in the pre stages of panicking over everything that I needed to do last week, my co-worker offered another way to get everything done. I have to admit that I hadn’t once thought to split the responsibility of what needed done. While she took care of one aspect of the job, I took care of the other, and in doing that, it made the week less stressful.

The common theme in all of these examples is priorities. Without prioritizing, it is easy to overshoot productivity and land straight into busyness. It is possible to be busy all day and be mildly productive, but it is also possible to be productive all day and relax. Each of us has the same amount of time every single day, it’s one of the few things constant for every individual. It’s how we spend that time that pushes some further than others. From here on out, I’m going to prioritize the major things in my life; my relationship with God, my family, and my passions. So long as I take time for those, I’m sure I’ll find the time for everything else, including sending stupid and funny videos to my friends.

Once again I have to credit a lot of this to my pastor and his sermon this morning for bringing this to light. Without this message, I would have continued just being busy and not being productive. And as always, I would love to hear your thoughts on this subject or any other subject I have brought before you all.